DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of the seminars, a woman
asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right
person?" I noticed that there was a
large man sitting next to her so I
said, "It depends. Is that your
husband?" In all seriousness, she
answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because
the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind. Here's the
answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle.

In the beginning, you fell in love
with your spouse. You anticipated
their call, wanted their touch, and
liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in
love with your spouse wasn't hard. In
fact, it was a completely natural and
spontaneous experience. You didn't
have to DO anything. That's why it's
called "falling" in love.

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was
swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that expression. It implies
that you were just standing there;
doing nothing, and then something came
along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a
passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the
euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slo wly but surely, phone calls become
a bother (if they come at all), touch
is not always welcome (when it
happens), and your spouse's
idiosync rasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with
every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a
dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love
and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse
might start asking, "Did I marry the
right person?" And as you and your
spouse reflect on the euphoria of the
love you once had, you may begin to
desire that experience with someone
else. This is when marriages
breakdo wn. People blame their spouse
for their unhappiness and look outside
their marriage for fulfilment.

E xtramarital fulfilment comes in all
shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
most obvious. But sometimes people
turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
exces sive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does
NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
within it. I'm not saying that you
couldn't fall in love with someone
else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But
you'd be in the same situation a few
years later. Because (listen carefully
to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS
NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAI NING love is not a passive or
spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find"
LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have
the expression "the labour of love."

Forgiv e your spouse who had make a
huge mistake before, because loving
your spouse is easy but to forgive
them is hard, that is why you need to
have the courage to forgive because it
takes time, effort, and energy. And
most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You
have to know WHAT TO DO to make your
marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT
a mystery. There are specific things
you can do (with or without your
spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Jus t as there are physical laws of the
universe (such as gravity), there are
also laws for relationships. Just as
the right diet and exercise program
makes you physically stronger, certain
habits in your relationship

WILL make your marriage stronger. It's
a direct cause and effect. If you know
and apply the laws, the results are
predictable.. . you can "make" love.