Its 50% genetic, 25% social, and 25% cultural.
Until the day comes when women stop looking for men more successful, more talented than themselves (this is also genetic), there will always been this 'double' standard.
According to
In the days before blood & DNA tests, no father can be 100% sure that the child is actually his. And the theory of the selfish gene means that no male is willing to spend his resources raising the offspring of another male. Although a woman's virginity is no guarantee that she will not sleeping around after marriage, at least it can probably ensure that the first child will probably be the husband's.
Of course, when society changes and humans can further evolves, one day, women may be the dominant sex, and there wont this weird standard anymore. Actually, the West is already changing.
It is evolution at work that the male will try to spill his seed in as many times in as many places as possible to increase the number or chances of offsprings.
Likewise, since stone age (and to a much lesser extent now), women look to men to provide for her and her offspring. Women would look for the fittest, strongest and most capable men to 'marry' and have kids with, not only for the superior genes, but also for the 'good life' (i.e. better chances of survival for herself and her offsprings). In prehistoric times, it was impossible for a woman to raise the children herself. She needed a man to provide the protection and bring home the bacon. In return, she stayed faithful to the man. This was absolutely so that the man could have the peace of mind that the children were actually his, and that he wasn't raising the offsprings of other males. And virginity, though not a guarantee that the women would not stray later on, at least ensured that the first child was the husband's.
This is why there is this 'weird' standards. Of course, the world has changed somewhat now. Many women are economically independent and can raise the kids by themselves. However, the evolutionary code in their psyche to go for more talented and successful men still dictate their choice of a mate. Therefore, as long as they look for someone stronger and better, men will continue to have the 'right' to look for someone 'purer' than themselves. Thus men can fool around but women cannot. Of course, things may change in the future.
Conclusion: Marry her and be satisfied, and be a good husband.
Love is often over-rated. Ultimately, its responsibility and commitment that make a marriage lasts (and successful, if there is such a thing). That passionate loving feeling will fade away. Its sad that people these days think passion is more important than responsibility.
It all boils down to - are you a man of your word? if you are, you honor your marriage vows. There are still some men who believe in honor. Marriage is a serious thing, you have the choice to make another person's life a happy one, or make it a miserable one. Although I am no saint, I think we should try to avoid doing harm to others, and try to bring a little happiness into others' life and not misery. responsibility and honor is overrated.
if i actually do marry, it will be out of love.
women, how would you feel if your BF married you just to preserve his honor and sense of responsibility?
would you rather he just take it and shove it and find a guy who actually loves you instead?
If i don't find the girl i love, I'll just not marry.
Easy isn't it?
Picture this:
Guy gets down on his knees..whips out first ring he came across that was within his budget.
GUY: girl, i dont love you but my sense of responsibility and honor requires that i propose to you.not because of anything but because i took your cherry. on hindsight i regret it, but now you're no longer a virgin...no guy will want you. So you might as well marry me. I'll try to be a good husband, there wont be any passion because that's a bunch of crock, but every month i'll support you. so, will you marry me?
GIRL: Fuck off ! i never want to see you again. (Runs away sobbing)
Just one small example : Evolution isn't pop science but just a theory. On Contrary, there are many sites on the Net that list the many loopholes in
Girls do not have to live up to a higher code. Once they understand this and internalize it, they will have their own code. As should we all.
Sensitive new age guy's type's so stereotypical, prejudiced, cliched and plain wrong my body couldn't decide whether to laugh, get angry, or throw up. I decided on staying calm. Contrary to what you believe, Singaporean SNAGs are not a cultural equivalent of Ang Mohs in Asian colors. Sensitivity is just another strength (or weakness) depending on how you use it or how it affects you. Nothing more.
Perhaps it is this sensitivity that women find attractive; that is why SNAGs are more openly 'minded' , all non-SNAGs rejected together with the near worthless mud and soil in this diamond mine called Singapore.
